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*Tech support:* What kind of computer do you have?
*Customer:* A white one...
===============
*Customer:* Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
*Tech support:* Have you tried pushing the Button?
*Customer:* Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
*Tech support:* That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
*Customer:* No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry....
===============
*Tech support:* Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
*Customer:* Your left or my left?
===============
*Tech support:* Good day. How may I help you?
*Customer:* Hello... I can't print.
*Tech support:* Would you click on "start" for me and...
*Customer:* Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates.
===============
*Customer:* Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer
and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't find it...
============== =
*Customer:* I have problems printing in red...
*Tech support:* Do you have a colour printer?
*Customer:* Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
*Tech support:* What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
*Customer:* A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me
===============
*Customer:* My keyboard is not working anymore.
*Tech support:* Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
*Customer:* No. I can't get behind the computer.
*Tech support:* Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
*Customer:* OK
*Tech support: * Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
*Tech support:* That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
*Customer:* Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
*Tech support:* Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
*Customer:* Is that 7 in capital letters?
== =============
*Customer:* can't get on the Internet.
*Tech support:* Are you sure you used the right password?
*Customer:* Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
*Tech support:* Can you tell me what the password was?
*Customer:* Five stars.
===============
*Tech support:* What anti-virus program do you use?
*Customer:* Netscape.
*Tech support:* That's not an anti-virus program.
*Customer: * Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
*Customer:* I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
*Tech support:* How may I help you?
*Customer:* I'm writing my first e-mail.
*Tech support:* OK, and what seems to be the problem?
*Customer:* Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
*Tech support:* Are you running it under windows?
*Customer:* "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and
his printer is working fine."
===============
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